Friday, April 29, 2011

all i'll say on the royal wedding

what a fine looking wedding party.  hubba hubba hubba for real.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

dear tarot card reader from our halloween party last year

you were right!  

a funny thing happened on the way to work

this morning i was walking down 14th street towards work whenever a cool breeze blew through the air, causing a shower of flower petals to fall and swirl around me as i walked.

but ryan gosling never showed up.  what gives?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

imma move my body

okay, so maybe i broke my new year's 2010 resolution to learn the choreography to beyonce's video for single ladies, but i'll be damned if i let 2011 pass me by without busting this out at my next wedding reception, night out, thanksgiving dinner, whathaveyou.



and what the hell, it's not too late to learn single ladies.  carpe diem, my inner beyonce!

jersey shore with british accents

the title says it all.  simply amazeballs.

truer words have never been spoken


"we've got lots to make! we gotta work out hard this summer so we can bake like it's 12/2012."
- caroline a.k.a. "chumbz"

sigh.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

foster the people

amy and i can't stop listening to this song, "helena beat," by foster the people.

just because

i love this photo oh-so-much.


hey spring!

where've you been, beech?  listen, i'm not going to drag this conversation out any longer than it needs to be, but i am NOT HAPPY with your late arrival.  before i know it, it's going to be another blazing hot concrete jungle summer, and my swampbutt will be pining for the springtime breeze that it never even had the chance to enjoy.  but you know what, let me set aside my anger, and welcome you with open arms, because you are just like me when i was younger and i ran away from my mom in the salisbury mall because i didn't think she was paying me enough attention.  when i circled back around to find her, she'd done the thing that any good mother would have done; that is to say, she flipped out, thought i might have been kidnapped, and went on a frantic search for me.  honestly, when i think back to that time, it still scares me because i can remember how terrified i was that i had lost her forever and i was completely alone and would never see my family again.  anyway, i remember when we finally found each other, she gave me what i thought was the most confusing thing ever - the angry hug.  i think she simultaneously yelled at me and hugged me tighter than ever before, and i remember being equal parts relieved and scared.  i don't think my little body had ever experienced so much adrenaline rushing through it.

oh, springtime, i've made this about me again, haven't i?  i'm always doing that!  anyway, what i'm trying to say is i am giving you the biggest angry hug ever, because i don't know where you ran off to, or why, but i am so glad you're back!  so to celebrate, i will give in to your sweet temptations (ice cream truck) and enjoy a coffee ice cream popsicle.

the end.

Monday, April 25, 2011

easter dinner

yesterday, amy and i headed to brooklyn to have a lazy easter sunday with our friends greg, delia, and matt.  greg and delia made a delicious ham with rosemary red potatoes, amy and i were in charge of salad and carrot cake, and matt brought a yummy corn pudding that reminded us all of home.  caroline made a great salad for easter last year and we replicated it: baby spinach, sliced almonds, dried cranberries, mandarin oranges, feta cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette.  it's such a tasty spring-time salad and was perfect for eating out on greg and delia's deck on their new patio furniture.  we actually timed our meal just right, because even though we saw clouds rolling in, it didn't start raining until we were all adequately stuffed and enjoying our second (or third) glass of wine.

we then gathered all of our dishes and glasses and headed inside to play a round of taboo, before having our first slices of carrot cake.  i've never made a carrot cake before, but after using caroline's mom's recipe, this is definitely a keeper!  the cake was moist and packed full of carrots and pecans, with the perfect amount of cinnamon, and the cream cheese frosting was just sweet enough without overwhelming the rest of the cake.  after playing some cranium and catching some (over)coverage of the pending royal wedding, we all had a second slice.  no shame.  enjoy the recipe below thanks to caroline's lovely momma.



Joan's Carrot Cake
1 1/2 to 1 3/4 cups of sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
5 eggs 
2 cups sifted all purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. cinnamon
4 cups grated carrots
1 cup chopped pecans

beat sugar and oil together. add eggs and mix well. sift flour with salt, soda and cinnamon, fold into mixture. slowly mix in carrots and pecans. pour into 2 greased and floured cake pans. bake at 300 for 30-40 minutes.

icing
1 pkg. cream cheese (8 oz.) (let soften)
1 box (1 lb.) confectioner's sugar
1/4 cup butter (soften)
2 tsp. vanilla

cream cheese and butter until well blended. add vanilla and sugar. spread on cooled cake.

optional - mix 1/2 cup crushed pecans in icing. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

"how to steal like an artist (and 9 other things nobody told me)"


my current boss sent this link to me today with this message, "advice for you today - the day you accepted a job because you took a leap and followed your heart. CONGRATULATIONS! now waste some time and read this."*


after reading through it, i now have to ask you readers to shut your office door or put on some headphones to drown out the noise.  do whatever it takes to seclude yourself for a few minutes.  then do nothing else but read.


*i guess now is also a good time to to mention that i accepted a position as a full-time writer with an awesome company. i'll update more soon!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

eeeyoh, adam brody!

hey!  adam brody!  well done snagging a spot in scream 4, but you better be working hard on that comeback, boiiiii.  you know you're still my favorite little nerd EVER, right?


ps - ladies, if you ever need help landing a man, be sure to call him your "favorite little nerd ever."  it works like a cha-harm!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

food + recipes

hi peeps.  can we call each other peeps again or is that still not cool?  anyhoo, i've added a food + recipes page to the blog.  this is mostly for my own personal gain, since i usually eat and enjoy everything that i make, and i'm always up for eating and enjoying later.  but it's also for you, in case you ever see something that looks mouthwateringly delicious.  now you just have to hit up the food + recipes page on my blog and you'll be able to find it.  but not right now, because i haven't finished compiling the list.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

these are my confessions

just one confession, actually.  i haven't washed my hair since saturday, and i'm NOT sorry.  although maybe i should be, because the following conversation happened this morning.

me: check out this hair! i haven't washed it since saturday.  not even after our 4-hour spring cleaning and dance party session.
amy: oh, it looks good and curly.  but i'd probably wash it tonight or tomorrow morning.
me: wait, does it really look good, or are you just saying that to be nice?  you have to tell me the truth.
amy: no, you can get away with not washing it for one more day, but not any longer than that.  it's on its last leg.

so you know what, kat becks and lindsay mirchins of the world?  i hope you appreciate your miracle scalps that don't need shampooing and conditioning every other day.  i really hope you do, because i'm jealous.  i wish i had that kind of magical hair power.

fight for your right revisited

hey god,

i don't know what i did to deserve someone not coming up to me and just handing me the opportunity to work on the set of this production, but whatever it is that i did, i'm sorry.  i really am.

all sacrilegious kidding aside, check out the trailer for the beastie boys' new short film, fight for your right revisited.  i'm not 100% sure what's going on, but i'm 100% sure that i want to watch this.


Monday, April 18, 2011

take me back to north carolina

thanks to lindsay for introducing me to this song, thanks to my best friend stacey for talking to me last night, and thanks to old crow medicine show for making me miss my home state something awful (how's that for southern?).

female writers in late night by the numbers

thanks to statette for this aesthetically pleasing, but frustrating breakdown.

awesome chris brown, lil' wayne, & busta rhymes cover

y'all know i wish i could rap / beat box really well, right?  i can rap some (eminem's part in jay-z's renegade (yes i can!)), but consider me in awe and jealous of this duo.  teach me your ways, karmin, because when i say i can rap, i mean i can kind of rap, and by kind of i mean not really, but i try, and that counts for something.

seriously, how does she not run out of breath?

SCRE4M


amy and i saw scream 4 saturday night, and i'll be the first to admit that i loved it!  it lived up to my expectations, and i cannot stop thinking about how much fun it was.  i know it didn't do as well as the filmmakers were expecting to this opening weekend, i know reviews aren't through the roof, and i know a few people personally who didn't care for it, but i thought it had everything that scream is known for.  it was fun, tongue-in-cheek funny, and scary.  plus, i loved that neve campbell, david arquette, and courteney cox were so integral (sidebar: i love me some courteney cox.  i've been watching the SERIOUSLY under-appreciated cougar town, and i am so in love with her.  she may have found her way into my girl crush list, which is good news for her because she's been eyeing a position in my top 5 for years now.).  all of the new faces were great, too - erik knudsen, hayden panetierre, emma roberts, rory culkin, and more.  anyway, i'm no movie reviewer, but i loved this.

Friday, April 15, 2011

put me down

this morning, i was really excited when i woke up and realized that my tossing and turning-filled slumber last night had produced a fantastic mane of bed-head.  aka, i didn't have to do anything to get ready today except dress myself, brush my teeth, wash my face, and put on makeup.

but then this afternoon i ran my fingers through my hair as i was getting it out of my face and i realized, as i tugged my fingers on a gnarly tangle, that i have toothpaste in my hair.  in the back of my hair.

how does that happen!?  did amy, caroline, or lindsay sneak in my room and spit toothpaste on me to pay me back for desmond eating their underwear and/or shoes and/or chocolate and/or patience? or am i really that spastic that i got my own toothpaste in my own back-of-head hair?  if it's the latter, i think it might be time someone put me down.


what's that? you want more photos of oliver?

 oh, okay fine.

owen has what my friend, evie, likes to call "little boy eyes."  well, check out the little boy eyes in this first photo.  LBETTM! (little boy eyes to the max)

bro bros
baby o, or as amy suggested i call him, oh-liver

my new favorite photo!  i can't wait to get in on this party in a couple weeks.

my new age bracket

i just signed up for a newsletter and, for the first time since turning 25, selected my new age bracket of 25 - 34.

more than anything else, i feel slightly surprised.  my honest reaction was an audible, "hmm."  not a thoughtful, "hmmm," but a shorter, hiccuped version that borders on the edge of disbelief.

because in my mind, i still sometimes picture myself as a little ragamuffin kid with curly blonde hair, following my brother, "maffoo" to our neighbor's yard, where he'd intended - probably reluctantly - to take me zip-lining with him, but instead, i'd stood at the very edge, waiting for him to finish hanging out with his friends.  i couldn't even bring myself to step into the their yard, i was so shy and nervous and scared of embarrassing him.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

30 day challenge

what would y'all think if i were to do this 30-day challenge?  basically i write about each designated topic for each day for 30 days.

it reminds me of those myspace quizzes and random things about me emails that used to get passed around so much.

AKA i love it.  don't judge me either.  you know you secretly love these things.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

chocolate cake

julie cline, eat your heart out.
just kidding.  admire from afar, and the next time i'm home, i'll make this.  i promise.

this weekend, caroline and i baked this cake from scratch.  barefoot contessa, do you ever do me wrong?  you know i love you, girl.  sure, paula deen is exciting, spunky, and keeps me on my toes, but you ina garten / barefoot contessa, you are my constant companion.  my friend, my confidant.  i can cozy up on the couch on a rainy day and read one book while you read another, without speaking for hours, and feel oh-so content.  there's something to be said for that.

and there's something to be said for this cake.

oh my yum.

i would convert religions for this cake.

mouth. is. watering.

in short, it was perfect.  it was moist, the icing-to-cake ratio just right, and the overall flavor was chocolaty sweet, without being too overwhelmingly rich.  in fact, i couldn't finish my first piece because it was too big, not too cloying.  (by the way, that never happens.  i always finish my food; i am a food finishing champion.  as a result, i have perfected my food baby.  so much so that i once pooched out my usually normal-sized stomach to show off my food baby to my dad, and he asked me to stop because it made him feel uncomfortable.  i may or may not have also tried to pooch out a food baby the entire time i walked through a wal mart once with some friends.  unfortunately this task was too daunting, and i failed to food baby my way beyond a few steps in the parking lot).

anyway, caroline and i have been baking an awful lot lately.  three weekends ago we made oatmeal peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies (but substituted pretzel m&ms for the chocolate chips), two weeks ago we made jenna's double banana chocolate chip breakfast bars, and now this cake.  she is my food soulmate, and i swear i may have to live near her all my life just so i always have someone to cook / bake / go halvesies with.  i mean, we have a plan to let ourselves go together.  what a pair of crazy betty crockers we are.

Monday, April 11, 2011

tina

friday evening, lindsay got in line for this at 4pm, and saved two seats for amy and me.  around 4:30, my bosses let me leave work an hour and a half early (awesome), and i huffed it over to barnes & noble like a mall-walker (which is to say that i was sweating by the time i got there) so that i could listen to and hopefully meet my hypothetical dinner guest.*

we sat around, read, talked, and snacked on treats until 7pm when tina showed up and began her discussion with david remnick.  the event itself was pretty much just a 30-minute talk between tina and david about specific excerpts from the book.  tina was personable, but she was also sick with a cold and pregnant, and there were over a thousand people there, so barnes & noble kept things moving quickly.  they organized the book signing portion almost as if we were at a wedding - row by row - and they didn't allow any photos to be taken with tina.
my iphone takes top-notch photos.  but you know what, middle schoolers, i didn't even have a cell phone in high school, so i'll take it!
now, i was not blessed with the skill of speech.  i mumble like your 14-year-old goth boy cousin, (aka why i've always been able to write my thoughts better than speak them), so i spent a lot of our waiting time rehearsing what i would say to tina when it was our turn.

i'm not going to lie; i was freaking out.  tina fey is my idol, and i say that with all the genuine respect that i truly have for her, and also with all the tweenage gusto that the words "so-and-so is my idol" conjure.  so when it came time for her to sign the book delia had given me and the book i bought my daddy cline, i took a deep breath and said, "thank you for doing what you do, because it if weren't for you, i would not be pursuing writing comedy," while simultaneously praying, "please let me remember these 10 seconds.  please, please, please."  she had already signed one book, and stopped to listen to what i had to say (like any normal person hopefully would) before replying, "oh, thank you.  that's really great to hear."  then she signed the other book and said, "good luck."


so now i'm just relishing in the fact that tina fey wished me (and potentially hundreds of other people) good luck.  one bucket list to-do down, lots more to go.

*you know the question: if you could have dinner with any living person, who would it be?  tina fey and ellen degeneres would be at the top of my list.

something good can work

to say that i'm going through a few life changes right now is a bit of an understatement.

within the first month of this year, i ended a relationship that had gone on, off, on, off, on, off, on, off, on, and finally off again for over 4 years.  i also decided to leave my awesome and stable job to pursue writing, which is not so stable, but my dream.

i've always been a happy and optimistic person, but after the initial shock (read: absolute mind-numbing fear) of both of these decisions wore off, i found myself feeling freer and happier than i've felt in a long, long time.

a few other people that are near and dear to my heart are also going through some shifts in life, and one of them sent me an awesome song last thursday (hint: she has red hair and is from texas).  she'd heard this song and decided that it's her new theme song, and should be mine, too.

after listening to it once, i was already hooked.  it's a perfet song to segue into the spring, and not only is the song itself catchy, but the lyrics are pretty fitting, too.

oh, and the band is from my beloved northern ireland.  be still my musical heart.




Thursday, April 07, 2011

grapefruit yogurt cake? i think i may have to try this.

i was having fun with smitten kitchen's 'surprise me' button, when i stumbled across this recipe for grapefruit yogurt cake.

need i remind y'all that my brother and i love grapefruit?  need i remind y'all that i'm going to maine in early may to visit?  need i state the obvious?  okay fine.  i do believe i'll be making some grapefruit yogurt cake while i'm in maine.

that is all.

crazy, stupid, love

more like crazy, stupid, love these goosebumps that i just got watching this trailer.  the cast looks incredible (steve carrell, ryan gosling, julianne moore, emma stone, marisa tomei, and kevin bacon), as does ryan gosling's bod, and it looks touching, funny, and tearjerking.  just what i like in a movie!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

me + t

guys, tina fey just told my favorite joke in her book as an example of what a "rough" joke is.  it's the only example she gave.  that means we're soulmates; we're meant to be together, i just know it.  and i mean that in a strictly platonic, strong-revered-woman-and-her-eager-to-learn-student type of way.

what's the joke, you ask?  okay, i'll tell you.

so a pedophile and a little boy are walking hand-in-hand through the forest together.  they're walking deeper and deeper into the woods, and it's getting darker and darker outside.  scared, the little boy slows his pace, looks up at the pedophile, and says, "gee whiz, mister.  it sure is creepy out here.  i'm getting real scared."  the pedophile looks down at the boy and says, "you think you're scared?  i'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

ba-dum-bum psh.

my other favorite joke is this:

what did the baby volcano say to the momma volcano?
answer: i lava you.

so, you know, i'm pretty versatile.

new york city

mariah berenstain


i've always thought that mariah carey resembles sister bear from the berenstain bears.  right?


by the way, this is totally a good thing.  sister bear is super cute, and being compared to a cartoon character isn't so bad.  i mean, i've been compared to a baby lion for several years now,


and told that nala is my celebrity doppelgänger.

i think mariah and i should sit down for some tea to discuss.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

that is a beautiful coat

happy book release day, tina fey!

tina fey's first book, bossypants, was released today.  luckily for me, i have a good friend who works in publishing and sent me an early copy so i've already had a chance to sink my teeth into it.  i'm not even that far into it yet, and i've already laughed out loud more than 5 times.  actually, i've probably laughed out loud 10 times.  for real.  keep 'em comin' tina-na-nah!

in other news, if you haven't yet said your goodbyes to me, you should probably start now.  friday i plan on going to this event where tina will discuss bossypants "in an on-stage interview with the editor of the new yorker."  i think the event is also a book signing.  the point is, if i meet tina fey, i might die on the spot.  i want my money to go to my niece and nephews, and i want to be cremated, with my ashes spread a little in each place that i've ever lived (boone counts).  that means my family has to take a few trips together, which i think would be fun and sad and healing and strange.  also, no one can wear black to my funeral.

more oliver.


prepare your hearts, other babies of the world, because this little cowboy is a heartbreaker.

look at his little wrinkled face - how can you say no?!
owen cline.  original cline baby badass and older brother extraordinaire.




Monday, April 04, 2011

win win

this weekend, i went to see win win with caroline and lindsay.  i walked into the movie theatre knowing nothing about the film, except that it stars amy ryan and paul giamatti, and i walked out with a new favorite movie.

now, if you know me, you know that i love me some picture shows, so it's not a far cry for me to declare that i loved something.  this movie felt different to me though.  it was just so sweet and endearingly funny, yet very real and heartbreaking.  i kept thinking to myself throughout the movie, "this is so, so good."

anyway, i'm no movie reviewer, but i definitely think this is a great movie to see and own.

ps - i dare you to not fall in love with newcomer alex shaffer.  triple dog dare you.


i have a problem

and it's called "too much peanut butter."

not too much peanut butter, as in "this is too much peanut butter to consume," but rather, "this is too much peanut butter for a normal person to have in their cabinet."

i guarantee this will all be gone within 2 weeks.

pb + cc 4 ever

Friday, April 01, 2011

parks and rec season 2 gag reel

there are a few random things that i really, really love in this life.  one is a sports montage.  movie montages always get to me, but there's something about a sports montage that really cuts to my core.  goosebumps aren't enough; my life's foundation is rocked whenever i see a really good sports montage, that's how much they affect me.

the other thing that i love unconditionally is a good blooper reel.  i hate whenever a gag reel sucks (i'm looking at you the wire).  you know what doesn't suck?  this parks and recreation gag reel that lasts a whopping 15 minutes.  YES!  other gag reels, take notice.  this is how it's done.

"ouchie mcgooskins!" - waistlines around america

restaurants, you angel-devil hybrid!  look at what you've done!

jay-z + toto is like coffee ice cream. it's just so good!

guess what!

i'm terrible at april fools' jokes.

APRIL FOOLS'.  i am awesome at them.

need proof?  you believed me for a hot split second.

ps - you're not going to fool me this year, google.  try as you might.

pps - this is completely unrelated but, i wish watson, the ibm robot who slayed its inferior human competitors on jeopardy, was my friend.

ppps - um, spell check, slayed is a word, and i did not misspell it.  

dear everyone who is talking about prince william not wearing a wedding band,

come on. do you think he's just going to slip on a fake mustache and people won't recognize him and he'll be able to philander all over the world?  maybe the man doesn't like wearing rings.  i get that a ring is a symbol of love and commitment, but i think it's already a pretty big symbol of love and commitment that prince william is marrying the epic kate middleton.  the kid is going to be king of england one day.  i'd say he's already outdone himself on the 'how can i show you how much i care' scale.

also, you know who did wear their wedding ring?  jesse james.  tiger woods.

you know who doesn't?  my daddy.